Santa Secret
Santa Secret
Santa Secret
The elf’s just can’t cover for Santa any longer. News reports coming out of the North pole are not to clear at this time but, they are suggesting that some time last week Santa, by helicopter, was taken out of the Christmas complex. This emergency covert operation supposedly was done in the middle of the night when Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer was asleep so that there would be no light put on the subject.
It is reported, from a secret source in the elf community, that Santa woke up at 2:00a.m. with severe chest pain and problems breathing. My source says they are not surprised, because Santa has a cookie problem that he tries washing down with whole milk. We were at least put a little at ease when the elf told us Santa doesn’t add any eggnog to the milk.
Santa Secret
Santa Secret
We were told this “cookie Problem” has been going on for as long as the elf can remember. It was told to him, by his elfin grandmother, that Santa used to be skinny and he didn’t have a sugar problem. This was long ago, before a sweet little boy had the idea that Santa might like a plate of cookies and a glass of milk when he dropped off the presents on Christmas Eve. This snowballed and soon every little boy and little girl were putting out cookies and milk for Santa.
Santa, being his kind, loving self could not say no. He wanted every child to know he appreciated the gesture. So, Santa made sure that every house he stopped off at on Christmas Eve, where there was cookies and milk, to have some. This only snowballed more.
Santa Secret
Santa Secret
At first Santa was having cookies and milk twice a week after Mrs. Claus and him had dinner. Then It became an everyday “cookie problem”. It got so bad that Santa, in order to get more cookies without the world noticing it, came up with the SCEP. Now that the news is out, I have the clearance from the elf’s to exposse this secret society in the North Pole that is devoted to helping supply Santa with cookies, no matter what has to be done. The SCEP or now known as the Secret Cookie Elfin Project has been covertly keeping up with Santa’s “cookie problem” for the last 55 years. As a mater of a fact it is now coming out that the “Rosewell Incident” actually was a secret mission to get some Snicker doodle cookies from Mexico that went wrong. The president at the time felt bad for Santa and didn’t want his children to know the truth so he blamed it on aliens.
Santa Secret
Santa Secret
I am getting reports that SCEP, Secret Cookie Elfin Project is so ingrained into our society that they have moles in the Keebler elf cookie factory. I am just getting to dig around some sources now and will keep you updated on this.
The last report, although I can not at this time divulge who told me. Says that Santa had a bad case of Agina and is resting up in an undisclosed rehabilitation center. This center specializes in “food addictions” and has such celebrities as Robin Williams, Charlie Sheen, Betty Ford, and Ozzy Osbourne.
Tomorrow I have a couple of secret interviews I have to do with elves that have left the North Pole because of contract disputes with Santa and if I get any additional information I will post it here. We hope and pray that Santa can kick this “cookie problem” before Christmas Eve and deliver the presents.
By Jonathan F Cook
Article Source: ezinearticles.com